| It is hard to believe that tomorrow, Monday, April 29th will be 8 months from when our sweet Lily Grace became an angel. Time just keeps on going by without her... In honor of Lily's monthly Angelversary I ask everyone to do something nice for someone else on the 29th of the month. So I am asking if you would please participate in the "The Lily Grace Challenge" tomorrow on her angelversary. This is a very hard day for all of us and I try to turn that day of sadness into more of a positive day (as much as possible). Our Lillian "Lily" Grace was such a wonderful, sweet and perfect baby that left our world way too soon at just 18 days old. I held her as she took her last breath and the whole time she kept one eye looking at me.. well she was looking at all of us and to honor her and everyone gone before us.. please do something nice on the 29th or any other day of the month to remember our loved ones gone too soon. So I challenge each and every one of you to participate in the Lily Grace Challenge. Tell your family and friends about it too. I challenge you to do at least one nice thing for someone else and this could be big or small. Just do anything that would help another person- plus you won't expect anything in return and if they want to repay you in any way just tell them that they can repay you by doing something nice for someone else in honor of Lily Grace. Thank you everyone! Please share this with others and ask them to participate. When you are done with her challenge please post "Done Lily"... that way Lily knows you are done. :) This Lily Grace Challenge will help to honor the memory of our precious Lily Grace on such a sad day for everyone touched by Lily Grace. Spread the word... Thanks everyone!  |
Sunday, April 28, 2013
8th Lily Grace Challenge... will you participate tomorrow?
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Did you just say that to a grieving parent???
Did you just say that to a grieving parent?
I have to speak out about something that is bothering me. I am part of a few grieving parents groups and one consistent thing that I keep seeing are certain comments that are being said to grieving parents. For example:
1. Are you over it yet?
2. Why aren't you over it yet?
3. You just haven't bounced back yet..
4. You're not the same..
The comments can get even worse- these are for pregnant grieving parents or parents with other kids:
1. You should be thankful for the kids you still have
2. You need to stop being sad and focus on the new baby you're about to have
3. You have a new baby that you need to think about now instead of thinking about the past
4. At least you have other kids...
5. You're young.. You can have more..
6. You have a new child to worry about now
There's a difference between people not knowing what to say and trying to be nice VS. saying insensitive, unkind things that should never come out of a persons mouth (like the comments above).
Why say the above things to anyone? When I had to face the reality that I could lose my child, I had to face what it could be like and I can tell you know... actually losing a child is a million times worst than anything you think it would feel like. I hope you never feel that..
It's easy to sit back and judge others or make assumptions when you haven't experienced such a loss but how dare anyone make those comments.
Think about someone that you love more than anything else and if that person was taken from your life in the blink of an eye.. would it be easy to replace them or could they ever truly be replaced? Can you replace a mother or father that passes? No! Would you say the above comments to someone who lost their parent- no! So a person that we make, grows inside our body (or adoption too).. a piece of us.. Is taken away and you think the above comments are acceptable?
We may never be the same! We will never "get over it"! NOTHING will replace a child that we've lost- NOTHING! You don't replace person A with person B.. Some people never get over a past relationship in their life but parents should get over a child that leaves their world.. empty arms, heart shattered, void in their life..
People should instead find ways to include an angel child, talk about them, and realize that just because they are not in our physical world doesn't mean they are gone from our lives! That's ridiculous!
They will always be a part of us so.. accept it, be patient, be kind, or move on.. If our pain bothers your life.. then you should move on.. please don't ever say the above comments to me.. I defend parents anytime I see or hear stuff like this.. Pointless, senseless, unkind words like this that never should be spoken, much less thought.. ❤
I have to speak out about something that is bothering me. I am part of a few grieving parents groups and one consistent thing that I keep seeing are certain comments that are being said to grieving parents. For example:
1. Are you over it yet?
2. Why aren't you over it yet?
3. You just haven't bounced back yet..
4. You're not the same..
The comments can get even worse- these are for pregnant grieving parents or parents with other kids:
1. You should be thankful for the kids you still have
2. You need to stop being sad and focus on the new baby you're about to have
3. You have a new baby that you need to think about now instead of thinking about the past
4. At least you have other kids...
5. You're young.. You can have more..
6. You have a new child to worry about now
There's a difference between people not knowing what to say and trying to be nice VS. saying insensitive, unkind things that should never come out of a persons mouth (like the comments above).
Why say the above things to anyone? When I had to face the reality that I could lose my child, I had to face what it could be like and I can tell you know... actually losing a child is a million times worst than anything you think it would feel like. I hope you never feel that..
It's easy to sit back and judge others or make assumptions when you haven't experienced such a loss but how dare anyone make those comments.
Think about someone that you love more than anything else and if that person was taken from your life in the blink of an eye.. would it be easy to replace them or could they ever truly be replaced? Can you replace a mother or father that passes? No! Would you say the above comments to someone who lost their parent- no! So a person that we make, grows inside our body (or adoption too).. a piece of us.. Is taken away and you think the above comments are acceptable?
We may never be the same! We will never "get over it"! NOTHING will replace a child that we've lost- NOTHING! You don't replace person A with person B.. Some people never get over a past relationship in their life but parents should get over a child that leaves their world.. empty arms, heart shattered, void in their life..
People should instead find ways to include an angel child, talk about them, and realize that just because they are not in our physical world doesn't mean they are gone from our lives! That's ridiculous!
They will always be a part of us so.. accept it, be patient, be kind, or move on.. If our pain bothers your life.. then you should move on.. please don't ever say the above comments to me.. I defend parents anytime I see or hear stuff like this.. Pointless, senseless, unkind words like this that never should be spoken, much less thought.. ❤
Grieving and anxiety..
Grieving parent & Anxiety..
Things that never would have caused me concern before can sometimes cause me panic or anxiety now..
It would seem irrational to you and the outside world but I bet another grieving parent would understand..
For example.. our house is partially packed & I needed an insulated lunch bag for tomorrow.. couldn't find one because it was packed away.. Hmmm.. What should I do..
Lily had one.. I went to one of her special boxes that has my breast feeding supplies... I pulled out her insulated, Medela bag that the hospital gave me so I could keep breast milk cold for transporting..it still had a Kosair business card in it...
I pulled it out if the box.. No big deal right?? Wrong!?! I was flooded with memories tied to that bag.. what if I use this bag tomorrow & something happens to it.. I can't do this.. I can't let anything happen.. I need another bag..
Panic sets in.. I had been in her box, flooded with memories, fear of losing her plain black insulated Medela bag..
This crap happens out if nowhere and Ricky doesn't understand.. "Calm down Amy.. It's no big deal.." I know things like this seem irrational but I also know that a big chunk of you.. sadly understand.. ❤❤
Grieving mother..our journey has many, deep layers ❤ just wanted to let you know what we go through ❤
Things that never would have caused me concern before can sometimes cause me panic or anxiety now..
It would seem irrational to you and the outside world but I bet another grieving parent would understand..
For example.. our house is partially packed & I needed an insulated lunch bag for tomorrow.. couldn't find one because it was packed away.. Hmmm.. What should I do..
Lily had one.. I went to one of her special boxes that has my breast feeding supplies... I pulled out her insulated, Medela bag that the hospital gave me so I could keep breast milk cold for transporting..it still had a Kosair business card in it...
I pulled it out if the box.. No big deal right?? Wrong!?! I was flooded with memories tied to that bag.. what if I use this bag tomorrow & something happens to it.. I can't do this.. I can't let anything happen.. I need another bag..
Panic sets in.. I had been in her box, flooded with memories, fear of losing her plain black insulated Medela bag..
This crap happens out if nowhere and Ricky doesn't understand.. "Calm down Amy.. It's no big deal.." I know things like this seem irrational but I also know that a big chunk of you.. sadly understand.. ❤❤
Grieving mother..our journey has many, deep layers ❤ just wanted to let you know what we go through ❤
So sweet and innocent..
The innocence of children..
My sweet daughter Lily became an angel 7-1/2 months ago.. some of the hardest moments or moments that catch me off guard are from my other sweet, innocent children.
Yesterday my son was so excited to show me a baby related book (baby animals) that he checked out at his school for me and today my daughter was excited to show me a baby book that she checked for me..
Blake told me "Lily is a baby that died so I wanted to get you a book about baby animals". He then told me that any baby reminds him of Lily..
Then he told me that Lily has a lot of friends in the undead world..(he corrected himself and said heaven)- if someone sees a baby ghost then you would see Lily he then said.
Makayla then told me that I needed a baby book in case my friends baby died so I could help my friend.. It would be sad for my friend but good/ happy for Lily because she would have a new friend in heaven..
You never know when these conversations will happen ❤
Q&A from a grieving Mom
Grieving Mom Question & Answer:
Question 1: Is your grief stronger or different throughout the day, at certain times of the day, or certain days of the week?
Answer: Unpredictable.. I think the grief that a grieving parent feels is very unpredictable.
When I first lost Lily yes.. Wednesdays at 3:30 pm represented exactly when I lost Lily. Tuesdays represented her funeral. Each day had a different meaning to me. In the beginning I knew how many hours, days, weeks, etc that she passed away.
I still know but it is different. I think dates are more predictable for me rather than days of the week or even times. I think dates always will be hard and that will never change (or it will always represent her or her loss to me).
The 11th represents good because it was the day she was born. The 29th is very sad because that is the day she became an angel. The number 18 represents the number of days that my angel lived. She had her surgery at 5 days old too (on a Wednesday- same day that she passed away). The 4th represents the day of her funeral. I could probably find a date, day of the week, time, etc. for many things if I really sat down and thought about it but why do that.. it would just make things harder on me.
I don't need help thinking about those hard dates and her loss.. Her loss is embeded in me.. I'll describe it this way.. Lily and my kids are always on my mind, I just don't talk about it all of the time. People bringing up Lily or my loss doesn't make me sad, I'm already sad. I may cry, I may not cry.. it just depends how strong I am at that moment. Not even strong.. but how well I can hold myself together at that moment.
Her loss is always on the surface but sometimes it's on top and I am extra emotional, sometimes it is about one layer deep and it's there.. still very raw but there.. doesn't take much to bring it back up to that extra emotional surface.. sometimes I can do other things to distract myself and not think about what happened as much.. it's always there though.
I like when people talk about Lily, remember Lily.. but sometimes I may say.. can we talk about something else or I will just change the subject because it can be too much for me.. the pain can be unbearable..
The pain is still very bad but in the beginning it is so raw- your heart actually physically hurts. I would cry so much that I would gag and thought I would throw up. I cried almost nonstop. I still have those moments but I can control it a little better. I am just as sad but it's just different but no mistaking that I am still hurting almost as badly. Maybe people say it's different as time passes.. not because it is easier but rather because in the beginning it is so raw..so new that you have to learn how to live this new life that you were given.. and now you have had several months to realize that it is real.. there is nothing that can be done..
So the best answer is that it is unpredictable.. very unpredictable. I know how many months but I don't want someone counting exact times for me because that is painful.. I know..trust me.. I KNOW and I will never forget.. I don't need someone to tell me. The most painful time are dates that have significant meaning.. her monthly birthdays, her monthly angelversary dates, and other significant dates (like one year from when the doctor asked if I wanted to terminate my pregnancy, one year from when she received her heart diagnosis, etc.. those dates.. that was hard).
Mother's Day will be hard.. holidays are hard.. it's hard.. it's all just hard but again.. other days.. unpredictable. In the beginning I had to take it second by second.. then minute by minute.. then hour by hour.. and eventually day by day.. any trigger can make my pain resurface in one second.. it's just unpredictable. Thanks for asking ♥
Question 1: Is your grief stronger or different throughout the day, at certain times of the day, or certain days of the week?
Answer: Unpredictable.. I think the grief that a grieving parent feels is very unpredictable.
When I first lost Lily yes.. Wednesdays at 3:30 pm represented exactly when I lost Lily. Tuesdays represented her funeral. Each day had a different meaning to me. In the beginning I knew how many hours, days, weeks, etc that she passed away.
I still know but it is different. I think dates are more predictable for me rather than days of the week or even times. I think dates always will be hard and that will never change (or it will always represent her or her loss to me).
The 11th represents good because it was the day she was born. The 29th is very sad because that is the day she became an angel. The number 18 represents the number of days that my angel lived. She had her surgery at 5 days old too (on a Wednesday- same day that she passed away). The 4th represents the day of her funeral. I could probably find a date, day of the week, time, etc. for many things if I really sat down and thought about it but why do that.. it would just make things harder on me.
I don't need help thinking about those hard dates and her loss.. Her loss is embeded in me.. I'll describe it this way.. Lily and my kids are always on my mind, I just don't talk about it all of the time. People bringing up Lily or my loss doesn't make me sad, I'm already sad. I may cry, I may not cry.. it just depends how strong I am at that moment. Not even strong.. but how well I can hold myself together at that moment.
Her loss is always on the surface but sometimes it's on top and I am extra emotional, sometimes it is about one layer deep and it's there.. still very raw but there.. doesn't take much to bring it back up to that extra emotional surface.. sometimes I can do other things to distract myself and not think about what happened as much.. it's always there though.
I like when people talk about Lily, remember Lily.. but sometimes I may say.. can we talk about something else or I will just change the subject because it can be too much for me.. the pain can be unbearable..
The pain is still very bad but in the beginning it is so raw- your heart actually physically hurts. I would cry so much that I would gag and thought I would throw up. I cried almost nonstop. I still have those moments but I can control it a little better. I am just as sad but it's just different but no mistaking that I am still hurting almost as badly. Maybe people say it's different as time passes.. not because it is easier but rather because in the beginning it is so raw..so new that you have to learn how to live this new life that you were given.. and now you have had several months to realize that it is real.. there is nothing that can be done..
So the best answer is that it is unpredictable.. very unpredictable. I know how many months but I don't want someone counting exact times for me because that is painful.. I know..trust me.. I KNOW and I will never forget.. I don't need someone to tell me. The most painful time are dates that have significant meaning.. her monthly birthdays, her monthly angelversary dates, and other significant dates (like one year from when the doctor asked if I wanted to terminate my pregnancy, one year from when she received her heart diagnosis, etc.. those dates.. that was hard).
Mother's Day will be hard.. holidays are hard.. it's hard.. it's all just hard but again.. other days.. unpredictable. In the beginning I had to take it second by second.. then minute by minute.. then hour by hour.. and eventually day by day.. any trigger can make my pain resurface in one second.. it's just unpredictable. Thanks for asking ♥
Diapers...
Posted on Lily's Facebook page: Never Forget Lily Grace 4/23/13
Diapers & a Grieving Parent...
So many things that a grieving parent has to go through.. you don't just lose your child.. there are so many things tied to that loss..
When I took my baby girls perfectly picked out beautiful outfit, matching hairbow, beautiful matching shoes with pink bows on them, pretty ruffled socks, beautiful baby jewelry.. I had everything for her to take the funeral home for her burial and it was perfect...
Do you know what I didn't have.. a newborn diaper..
The funeral home asked me if I had a diaper to bury her in... no.. I didn't. My sweet baby lived every day of her life in the hospital.. I didn't have one single diaper to give the funeral home..
My friend had driven me to the funeral home to take these items that day... I had a big meltdown there.. huffy, hard to breathe crying.. "No.. I don't have a diaper for my baby..I can't go buy diapers.. that's too hard... my baby needs a diaper and her Mommy doesn't even have a diaper for her.. "
My friend took care of it for me... but to this day... it's hard to think of certain baby items and not have flash backs about my beautiful Lily.
I was able to change her diaper one time during her 18 days.. that's it.. but I will cherish that one time forever...
There is just so many triggers for grieving parents and it happens when you are least prepared.. ♥
**Correction.. sorry... I was able to change her diaper one time before her open heart surgery while she was still here with us and one time after she became an angel. After she passed away.. they let me give her a sponge bath with Johnson & Johnson bedtime body wash, put Johnson & Johnson bedtime lotion on her, put a diaper on her, dress her in one of our outfits, cut her hair, brush her hair..etc.. so really I changed her twice.. ♥
Diapers & a Grieving Parent...
So many things that a grieving parent has to go through.. you don't just lose your child.. there are so many things tied to that loss..
When I took my baby girls perfectly picked out beautiful outfit, matching hairbow, beautiful matching shoes with pink bows on them, pretty ruffled socks, beautiful baby jewelry.. I had everything for her to take the funeral home for her burial and it was perfect...
Do you know what I didn't have.. a newborn diaper..
The funeral home asked me if I had a diaper to bury her in... no.. I didn't. My sweet baby lived every day of her life in the hospital.. I didn't have one single diaper to give the funeral home..
My friend had driven me to the funeral home to take these items that day... I had a big meltdown there.. huffy, hard to breathe crying.. "No.. I don't have a diaper for my baby..I can't go buy diapers.. that's too hard... my baby needs a diaper and her Mommy doesn't even have a diaper for her.. "
My friend took care of it for me... but to this day... it's hard to think of certain baby items and not have flash backs about my beautiful Lily.
I was able to change her diaper one time during her 18 days.. that's it.. but I will cherish that one time forever...
There is just so many triggers for grieving parents and it happens when you are least prepared.. ♥
**Correction.. sorry... I was able to change her diaper one time before her open heart surgery while she was still here with us and one time after she became an angel. After she passed away.. they let me give her a sponge bath with Johnson & Johnson bedtime body wash, put Johnson & Johnson bedtime lotion on her, put a diaper on her, dress her in one of our outfits, cut her hair, brush her hair..etc.. so really I changed her twice.. ♥
Don't all babies deserve the best start???
From another heart angel Mommy:
Don't all babies deserve the best start?
Another heart angel Mommy asked me to share this.. Please click on the picture, like, and share to raise awareness for pulse oximetry CCHD screening! www.savebabies.orgwww.pulseoxadvocacy.com
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=480866291983894&set=a.159566520780541.40306.150757184994808&type=1&theater
Another heart angel Mommy asked me to share this.. Please click on the picture, like, and share to raise awareness for pulse oximetry CCHD screening! www.savebabies.orgwww.pulseoxadvocacy.com
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=480866291983894&set=a.159566520780541.40306.150757184994808&type=1&theater
Don't all babies deserve the best start? Like and share to raise awareness for pulse oximetry CCHD screening!www.savebabies.org www.pulseoxadvocacy.com
True healing...
Dear Lily Grace friends..
Thank you for your support! Thank you for finding my Lily... knowing about her, sharing her, doing the Lily Grace Challenge (something nice for others on the 29th of the month), reading my posts- emotional or not.. thank you!
This is the hardest journey that I've ever traveled. Losing a child is such an indescribable, unthinkable, and overwhelming loss...
This loss & pain just encompasses your whole life- physical, emotional, and social self.. It's not fair, it's sad, and sometimes people don't understand & the things they say make it worse.
People just don't understand the depth of this pain and I don't want them to understand because the only way to truly understand is to lose a child yourself.. I really don't want anyone to understand. ❤❤
Is there anything that you want me to write about or talk about when it comes to our Lily Grace, The Lily Grace Project, the grief I experience,or anything related to what grieving parents go through? ❤
Thank you for your support! Thank you for finding my Lily... knowing about her, sharing her, doing the Lily Grace Challenge (something nice for others on the 29th of the month), reading my posts- emotional or not.. thank you!
This is the hardest journey that I've ever traveled. Losing a child is such an indescribable, unthinkable, and overwhelming loss...
This loss & pain just encompasses your whole life- physical, emotional, and social self.. It's not fair, it's sad, and sometimes people don't understand & the things they say make it worse.
People just don't understand the depth of this pain and I don't want them to understand because the only way to truly understand is to lose a child yourself.. I really don't want anyone to understand. ❤❤
Is there anything that you want me to write about or talk about when it comes to our Lily Grace, The Lily Grace Project, the grief I experience,or anything related to what grieving parents go through? ❤
**Posted April 23, 2013 on Lily's Facebook page**
Organ donor...
Posted on Lily's Facebook page: Never Forget Lily Grace 4/22/13
Organ Donor..
Tough picture but true..
Are you an organ donor?
I am! I would have donated my sweet daughters organs but we couldn't because of her life support...
I didn't have a choice in losing our daughter.. I would have donated her organs to save another persons life in a heart beat... ❤ If I could spare another family this heart break.. the loss of their child, friend, mother, father, grandparent, cousin, aunt, uncle... I would.. No one deserves to have this pain ❤
What choice will you make?
Organ Donor..
Tough picture but true..
Are you an organ donor?
I am! I would have donated my sweet daughters organs but we couldn't because of her life support...
I didn't have a choice in losing our daughter.. I would have donated her organs to save another persons life in a heart beat... ❤ If I could spare another family this heart break.. the loss of their child, friend, mother, father, grandparent, cousin, aunt, uncle... I would.. No one deserves to have this pain ❤
What choice will you make?
Lily Grace Project- thank you & beautiful hairbow model..
Lily Grace Project: Thank you Summer Wilson!
During our February 2013 donation trip to Kosair we gave out hairbows to the sweet girls and knit hats to the handsome boys.
Summer Wilson's nephew received one of our hats and then read about Lily from the tag that came with the hat (and then this FB page).
She was touched by Lily's story and wanted to donate ribbon, hairbows that she made, resins (hairbow center pieces), clips for hairbows, etc. she used to make bows and wanted to give us everything that she had left... she said "You will be surprised by how much stuff I have to give you!"..
She wasn't kidding.. It filled up my Moms trunk.. Thank you!! Thank you!!!! Thank you!!! ❤
Miracle preemie baby Lauren modeling some Lily Grace Project Hairbows!!
What a small world.. she lives in Louisville KY, her Mommy goes to the same OBGYN/ baby delivery doctors as me, and she lives really close to my family... ❤❤
Show little Lauren some love!! She's home with her family.. born very early, very tiny, and fought hard.. You look beautiful baby Lauren!!!
During our February 2013 donation trip to Kosair we gave out hairbows to the sweet girls and knit hats to the handsome boys.
Summer Wilson's nephew received one of our hats and then read about Lily from the tag that came with the hat (and then this FB page).
She was touched by Lily's story and wanted to donate ribbon, hairbows that she made, resins (hairbow center pieces), clips for hairbows, etc. she used to make bows and wanted to give us everything that she had left... she said "You will be surprised by how much stuff I have to give you!"..
She wasn't kidding.. It filled up my Moms trunk.. Thank you!! Thank you!!!! Thank you!!! ❤
Miracle preemie baby Lauren modeling some Lily Grace Project Hairbows!!
What a small world.. she lives in Louisville KY, her Mommy goes to the same OBGYN/ baby delivery doctors as me, and she lives really close to my family... ❤❤
Show little Lauren some love!! She's home with her family.. born very early, very tiny, and fought hard.. You look beautiful baby Lauren!!!
"Will you please hold her on your lap and tell her about me?..."
Please tell Lily about me, her Dad, her siblings, her dogs, her family, her friends...
Please tell all of the angels in heaven about their family and friends too ❤
Please tell all of the angels in heaven about their family and friends too ❤
Friday, April 19, 2013
"Do you want to terminate your pregnancy?"
I posted this today.. 4/19/13 around 8:30 pm...
"Do you want to terminate your pregnancy?"
One year ago today, the results on Lily's chromosome testing from my amniocentesis came in. Do you know why I remember?
One year ago today our son Blake turned 7. We came home from taking him out to eat and we were about to gather around the table to sing happy birthday but I had a missed call on our home phone from my high risk maternity doctor. There was a missed call with a voicemail that included my doctors phone number. That is never good...
So I asked everyone to wait and I went in my bedroom to call the doctor. The results that everyone thought would come back negative instead showed something... something that the doctors thought wouldn't be a problem. He told me that they don't know exactly what it is but it looked like our daughter had a "mosaic" chromosome condition. (means partial/ not full). They don't know how it could effect her. She could be mild to moderately mentally/ physically impaired. They didn't know though as her results weren't clear.
There was something wrong beyond the heart but that is all they could officially tell me. Nothing else showed on her ultrasounds (it never did.. just her heart). She may even have Mosaic Down Syndrome or it could be something rare. They will continue to test the chromosomes for clear answers..then he said...
"We are running out of time though... did we talk about it? Do you want to terminate? If you want to terminate then we need to hurry because the state will only let you terminate until you are XX number of weeks and you are getting close to that....."
My response was "NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! I can't!! I can't!! NO!! NO!!..." Something VERY emotional like that. The doctor said "okay, okay..that's fine. I just needed to talk to you about it"...
I was already sad and then we went to Target..got sadder there because we passed the baby clothes section..
then I got sadder.. passed the toys with a doll on the endcap called "Lily"...
so I got sadder... then at the checkout there were two babies near me around the age that Lily should be..so I got even sadder..
then I got even sadder when I realized that today... my son's 8th birthday also means that one year ago today.. the doctor wanted to know if I wanted to end my babies life.. this babies life.. my Lily Grace in this picture...
No I didn't.. I wanted to give her a chance.. I wanted to let her fight.. I wanted to fight for her.. we wanted to fight for her and we did.. we all did. Oh how I wish you were here sweet girl... :(
Lily Grace 8/11/12 - 8/29/12 ♥
Happy 8th Birthday Blake!!!
Happy 8th birthday to our wonderful and funny son Blake!
I ran some cupcakes to his class and he showed everyone Lily's seahorse (he really wanted too). He walked around and showed each student... He's so sweet! He talks about Lily a lot.
As soon as he held up her seahorse, one of his classmates said "Lily's seahorse!" He didn't even say anything yet- they just knew. He had taken a picture if Lily with her seahorse before.. ❤
Happy birthday buddy!!
I ran some cupcakes to his class and he showed everyone Lily's seahorse (he really wanted too). He walked around and showed each student... He's so sweet! He talks about Lily a lot.
As soon as he held up her seahorse, one of his classmates said "Lily's seahorse!" He didn't even say anything yet- they just knew. He had taken a picture if Lily with her seahorse before.. ❤
Happy birthday buddy!!
House news update
House News Update!!
Reminder of what recently happened: our house was put up for sale two weeks prior to our Lily's heart diagnosis on 3/30/12. We received an offer on our house February 15, 2013 and we were closing on our houses (selling our current & buying another house) 3/26/13.
One week prior to our scheduled closing.. our buyers loan fell through so everything fell through. This was devastating, especially after everything we went through this past year.
So our house went back up for sale and last Friday/ Saturday we received an approved offer on our current house and an offer was accepted for the house we were supposed to get last time ❤❤
Just wanted to share.. ❤❤ thank you all for the prayers and well wishes! Keep them coming ❤❤
Reminder of what recently happened: our house was put up for sale two weeks prior to our Lily's heart diagnosis on 3/30/12. We received an offer on our house February 15, 2013 and we were closing on our houses (selling our current & buying another house) 3/26/13.
One week prior to our scheduled closing.. our buyers loan fell through so everything fell through. This was devastating, especially after everything we went through this past year.
So our house went back up for sale and last Friday/ Saturday we received an approved offer on our current house and an offer was accepted for the house we were supposed to get last time ❤❤
Just wanted to share.. ❤❤ thank you all for the prayers and well wishes! Keep them coming ❤❤
I wish upon a star...
Posted on Lily's Facebook page on 4/16/13 (Never Forget Lily Grace):
I wish upon a star...
I wish that I would dream of Lily..
I wish that I could dream of me holding and kissing Lily..
My dream could be about me doing normal, everyday things with Lily..(Feeding her, holding her, kissing her, waking up in the middle of the night with my sweet baby, etc..).
I just want to have a dream that my little girl is in my arms.. what do you want to dream about?
I wish upon a star...
I wish that I would dream of Lily..
I wish that I could dream of me holding and kissing Lily..
My dream could be about me doing normal, everyday things with Lily..(Feeding her, holding her, kissing her, waking up in the middle of the night with my sweet baby, etc..).
I just want to have a dream that my little girl is in my arms.. what do you want to dream about?
Lily Grace Project Hairbow Party!! Wow..
We had another Lily Grace Project Hairbow Party on 4/14/13:
Beautiful Hairbow alert!! ❤
We had a wonderful Lily Grace Project Hairbow party today!! We have so many beautiful hairbows for donations and to buy (to help The Lily Grace Project).
Just wanted to share!! ❤❤
Posted on Lily's Facebook page on 4/15/13:
Lily Grace Project Hairbows in memory of Lily Grace and all angels gone too soon! ❤
Closer view of the hairbows that our family made ❤❤
My family and I have been brainstorming on how to include other angel children with our project too (and brainstorming on how to make a neck strap for bow hairbows).. great things in the works for our project!!
Thank you all for your support! ❤
Beautiful Hairbow alert!! ❤
We had a wonderful Lily Grace Project Hairbow party today!! We have so many beautiful hairbows for donations and to buy (to help The Lily Grace Project).
Just wanted to share!! ❤❤
Posted on Lily's Facebook page on 4/15/13:
Lily Grace Project Hairbows in memory of Lily Grace and all angels gone too soon! ❤
Closer view of the hairbows that our family made ❤❤
My family and I have been brainstorming on how to include other angel children with our project too (and brainstorming on how to make a neck strap for bow hairbows).. great things in the works for our project!!
Thank you all for your support! ❤
I believe in angels..
Posted on Lily's Facebook page on 4/13/13:
I like this picture because the girl angel is wearing a beautiful hairbow!
We are having another "hairbow party" tomorrow to make more hairbows for The Lily Grace Project. We haven't been able to do this recently so I decided to throw a hairbow party together very last minute.. ❤
I'll have to share pictures of our hairbows tomorrow... making hairbows is a stress reliever for me and a way to remember Lily ❤ I'm excited!! ❤
Lily is celebrating her 8 month birthday in heaven...
This was posted on Lily's Facebook page: Never Forget Lily Grace on 4/11/13:
Our Lily Grace would be 8 months old today.. She's celebrating her birthday in heaven..
Her friend Zoey is modeling a Lily Grace Project hairbow.. Zoey was born just a few days before Lily... our baby should be this big.. Lily should be modeling some hairbows.. Lily should be here on Earth..
I wonder who is making my Lily Grace hairbows in Heaven❤❤ Happy 8 month birthday Lily..
I wish I could do those cute monthly pictures like other parents do.. I had it all planned out before you were born.. miss you sweet girl ❤
Our Lily Grace would be 8 months old today.. She's celebrating her birthday in heaven..
Her friend Zoey is modeling a Lily Grace Project hairbow.. Zoey was born just a few days before Lily... our baby should be this big.. Lily should be modeling some hairbows.. Lily should be here on Earth..
I wonder who is making my Lily Grace hairbows in Heaven❤❤ Happy 8 month birthday Lily..
I wish I could do those cute monthly pictures like other parents do.. I had it all planned out before you were born.. miss you sweet girl ❤
Thursday, April 11, 2013
No words needed... :(
Happy 8 month birthday angel...
(to the tune of Happy Birthday..)
Happy Birthday to you...
I'm really missing you...
Happy Birthday sweet angel...
Happy birthday to you...
No words are needed to describe this photo... you would be 8 months old today Lily.. words can't describe how much I miss you... this picture sums it up...
Love you forever sweet girl.. we all miss you so much ♥ Your brother Blake is sleeping with your seahorse tonight... every Wednesday he tells me "It's my Lily Day".. he gets so excited..
Love you baby.. tons of kisses to heaven...
Mommy ♥
Happy Birthday to you...
I'm really missing you...
Happy Birthday sweet angel...
Happy birthday to you...
No words are needed to describe this photo... you would be 8 months old today Lily.. words can't describe how much I miss you... this picture sums it up...
Love you forever sweet girl.. we all miss you so much ♥ Your brother Blake is sleeping with your seahorse tonight... every Wednesday he tells me "It's my Lily Day".. he gets so excited..
Love you baby.. tons of kisses to heaven...
Mommy ♥
Your 8 month birthday on 4/11/13
On Wednesday, April 10th I posted the following on Lily's Facebook page "Never Forget Lily Grace":
Tomorrow-April 11th would be our Lily's 8th month birthday.. I ask everyone to "pay it forward" at least once during the day on the 29th of each month (day that she passed away)..
I thought about asking everyone to think more of others onthe 11th of each month.. All day.. Call or write someone who is sick, grieving, stressed, worried, going through a hard time... help a neighbor.. reconnect with someone, forgive someone... pay it forward helps strangers more (which is great but we could also do something that hits closer to home)
....SOOO maybe the 11th could positively impact people in your life - friends, family, coworker, your medical professionals-someone that you actually know in some way.. Just think how much the world would change if a lot of people participated... ❤ Just a thought ♥
Happy early 8 month birthday sweet Lily.... we could call it "Love for Lily Day"... or insert your angels name.. it could be your angels day too ♥
Tomorrow-April 11th would be our Lily's 8th month birthday.. I ask everyone to "pay it forward" at least once during the day on the 29th of each month (day that she passed away)..
I thought about asking everyone to think more of others onthe 11th of each month.. All day.. Call or write someone who is sick, grieving, stressed, worried, going through a hard time... help a neighbor.. reconnect with someone, forgive someone... pay it forward helps strangers more (which is great but we could also do something that hits closer to home)
....SOOO maybe the 11th could positively impact people in your life - friends, family, coworker, your medical professionals-someone that you actually know in some way.. Just think how much the world would change if a lot of people participated... ❤ Just a thought ♥
Happy early 8 month birthday sweet Lily.... we could call it "Love for Lily Day"... or insert your angels name.. it could be your angels day too ♥
Cheering for UofL Cardinals in Heaven too- 2013 NCAA Champtions
❤Go UofL Cardinals!! 2013 NCAA Champions!!
Our hometown, my alumni, and Lily's Dad & family are HUGE fans!!! Way to go Cardinals!!
I bet we have some happy Cardinal fans in heaven right now!! My Grandma is dancing around with Lily tonight!! ❤
Our hometown, my alumni, and Lily's Dad & family are HUGE fans!!! Way to go Cardinals!!
I bet we have some happy Cardinal fans in heaven right now!! My Grandma is dancing around with Lily tonight!! ❤
Beautiful Statue for Grieving parents..
Look at this beautiful statue.. You also get your angels name on it.. (on the white base) ❤ Another grieving Mommy posted this on another page... just had to share... absolutely beautiful and absolutely perfect ♥
http://www.preciousmoments.com/mommy-s-love-goes-with-you?___store=iphone_en
http://www.preciousmoments.com/mommy-s-love-goes-with-you?___store=iphone_en
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Kind words from Baby Paige... thank you!!
The following message and pictures are from Lori Hall, mother to baby Paige. My family and I met Paige when she received a hairbow at Kosair Children's Hospital through The Lily Grace Project. Sweet Paige was very premature and there was a time that the doctors didn't think she would make it (when she was still in her Mommy's belly)... as her Mom says "the doctors said there is a one in a million chance that she will make it.. she is that one..". Way to go Paige.. she just went home with her parents this week. These pictures were taken at home.. this message brought me to tears.. how sweet:
From her Mommy Lori:
I think the significance of these photos goes with out me having to say it!! But here is Paige's first photo next to the beautiful Lillys that Mikie (Lori's husband) bought in memory and representation of our sweet Paige's guardian angel.... Lily Grace! This baby and her family have had such an impact on our family and have played a major role in our nicu journey w/Paige. I can only imagine the impact lily had on those who were blessed enough to actually meet this little angel before god called her home.
From her Mommy Lori:
I think the significance of these photos goes with out me having to say it!! But here is Paige's first photo next to the beautiful Lillys that Mikie (Lori's husband) bought in memory and representation of our sweet Paige's guardian angel.... Lily Grace! This baby and her family have had such an impact on our family and have played a major role in our nicu journey w/Paige. I can only imagine the impact lily had on those who were blessed enough to actually meet this little angel before god called her home.
Are you better yet....?
Written on Lily's Facebook page: Never Forget Lily Grace, Friday April 5th
My hearts a little heavy tonight..
This picture seems perfect... ❤❤
Sadly, I know many people can understand or relate to this picture ❤
Do you think there's a time frame for grief? A magic time frame that we are supposed to bounce back or be over it? Be ourselves again? Not cry, especially when things remind us of our angel child.. I think of them as triggers...?
If so...you've never loved someone as much as I love my children & family...
or you've never loved & lost someone like I and so many other people have...❤
I'd love to hear your thoughts..
My hearts a little heavy tonight..
This picture seems perfect... ❤❤
Sadly, I know many people can understand or relate to this picture ❤
Do you think there's a time frame for grief? A magic time frame that we are supposed to bounce back or be over it? Be ourselves again? Not cry, especially when things remind us of our angel child.. I think of them as triggers...?
If so...you've never loved someone as much as I love my children & family...
or you've never loved & lost someone like I and so many other people have...❤
I'd love to hear your thoughts..
Empty Arms...
Why?
Why is she posing like this... what are your thoughts?
My thoughts: when you lose a child... Oh how your arms ache.. your heart, body, and soul ache but your arms feel so empty...
Those arms should be full! For me... my body, mind, and soul were ready for my baby so when she left this earth, my body wasn't ready for her to leave either...
Empty arms is a big thing for grieving parents... ❤❤ what are your thoughts?
Why is she posing like this... what are your thoughts?
My thoughts: when you lose a child... Oh how your arms ache.. your heart, body, and soul ache but your arms feel so empty...
Those arms should be full! For me... my body, mind, and soul were ready for my baby so when she left this earth, my body wasn't ready for her to leave either...
Empty arms is a big thing for grieving parents... ❤❤ what are your thoughts?
Lily's Headstone...
Lily's Headstone.. ❤
We waited about 5 months for Lily's headstone to arrive and it felt wonderful to finally have her headstone at her burial spot..
A few things weren't done to the headstone as we ordered it so they had to ship it back.. It was gone again for about 2 weeks.. through her 7 month angelversary, 1 year from her heart diagnosis, on Easter, my birthday and finally arrived again onher Dads birthday.. April 2nd.
The top and back are now polished. It's beautiful as ever and I'm glad it's back.. I just wanted it to be perfect.. It's one thing that we could do for our daughter..
Her headstone is bittersweet.. so final.. Hope you like it as much as we do ❤ it's back Lily ❤
We waited about 5 months for Lily's headstone to arrive and it felt wonderful to finally have her headstone at her burial spot..
A few things weren't done to the headstone as we ordered it so they had to ship it back.. It was gone again for about 2 weeks.. through her 7 month angelversary, 1 year from her heart diagnosis, on Easter, my birthday and finally arrived again onher Dads birthday.. April 2nd.
The top and back are now polished. It's beautiful as ever and I'm glad it's back.. I just wanted it to be perfect.. It's one thing that we could do for our daughter..
Her headstone is bittersweet.. so final.. Hope you like it as much as we do ❤ it's back Lily ❤
A Mother's Job..
Written on Lily's Facebook Page: Never Forget Lily Grace on Wednesday, 4/3/13
Are you grieving?
Do you know someone who is grieving?
Any thoughts about grief...
what you're going through...
how people treat you when you're grieving...
or misunderstandings about your grief or grief in general...?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts...
Are you grieving?
Do you know someone who is grieving?
Any thoughts about grief...
what you're going through...
how people treat you when you're grieving...
or misunderstandings about your grief or grief in general...?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts...
Grief is not a disease.. or an illness...
So true... there is no timeline for grief...
people say there are stages to grief but I don't believe there is a timeline or textbook stages of grief like people say... some truth to it but not full truth (at least not time lines)...
each journey is personal and each person is effected differently...
Justifying your grief to others just adds stress...
It is all about love... it truly is..
Lastly.. if you see a grieving parent during a moment of their grief or hear/ read about their grief... just know that usually that moment passes...
We need to experience that moment to move on to the next moment in our life.. or at least that is how it is for me..
Yes.. some days are harder than others.. some moments are harder than others but that is my journey called life now..
I hope that none of you ever know what I am going through.. because if you do know what I am going through then that means that you have lost a child and I don't want ANY of you to experience that loss...
Just wanted to share ♥
people say there are stages to grief but I don't believe there is a timeline or textbook stages of grief like people say... some truth to it but not full truth (at least not time lines)...
each journey is personal and each person is effected differently...
Justifying your grief to others just adds stress...
It is all about love... it truly is..
Lastly.. if you see a grieving parent during a moment of their grief or hear/ read about their grief... just know that usually that moment passes...
We need to experience that moment to move on to the next moment in our life.. or at least that is how it is for me..
Yes.. some days are harder than others.. some moments are harder than others but that is my journey called life now..
I hope that none of you ever know what I am going through.. because if you do know what I am going through then that means that you have lost a child and I don't want ANY of you to experience that loss...
Just wanted to share ♥
Family Fun.. photo booth :)
Photo booth alert ❤ ha ha..
My kids & I went to see The Oz movie this weekend (it was GREAT!!) and the movie theater has a photo booth..
My daughter Makayla has wanted us to do the photo booth at the mall for a long time so I surprised her & we all did the photo booth.. ❤ It was so much fun ❤
My kids & I went to see The Oz movie this weekend (it was GREAT!!) and the movie theater has a photo booth..
My daughter Makayla has wanted us to do the photo booth at the mall for a long time so I surprised her & we all did the photo booth.. ❤ It was so much fun ❤
Beautiful hairbow models...
Beautiful Aubrey wearing a Lily Grace Project hairbow! She was also at Kosair Children's Hospital.. like my Lily! ❤
She was discharged from the hospital a day or two before our 3rd hairbow donation trip to Kosair during February 2013. I've been wanting to give her a Lily Grace bow... so glad she has one now!! ❤ Happy Easter beautiful Aubrey! — (Mommy is Kate Carter Hensley).
Kathy saw my Easter hairbow post and bought one of our Easter hairbows for Lyla to support The Lily Grace Project.. I thought that was so sweet! ❤
I just know Lily is always with her cousins and siblings.. no matter what but seeing this picture of Lyla wearing a Lily Grace Project Hairbow... ❤.. seeing pictures of babies and girls wearing Lily Grace Project hairbows on Easter...
That's special & warms my heart during such a hard time... so many firsts that should have been with Lily but instead.. without Lily.. ❤ Thank you to everyone who is sharing pictures.. it means more than you'll know.. more pictures to share later too..
Beautiful baby Fenley.... another Lily Grace Project hairbow model!! ❤
I hold a special place in my heart for all of our models but this sweet baby is my best friends niece... isn't she beautiful!!
She is modeling an Easter hairbow that her Mommy specially picked out & bought from the Easter hairbows that I posted on Lily's page.. Thank you Erin, Joel, and Fenley! ❤
She was discharged from the hospital a day or two before our 3rd hairbow donation trip to Kosair during February 2013. I've been wanting to give her a Lily Grace bow... so glad she has one now!! ❤ Happy Easter beautiful Aubrey! — (Mommy is Kate Carter Hensley).
Hairbow model.. Lily's cousin Lyla. She is being held by her honorary Aunt Kathy.
Kathy saw my Easter hairbow post and bought one of our Easter hairbows for Lyla to support The Lily Grace Project.. I thought that was so sweet! ❤
I just know Lily is always with her cousins and siblings.. no matter what but seeing this picture of Lyla wearing a Lily Grace Project Hairbow... ❤.. seeing pictures of babies and girls wearing Lily Grace Project hairbows on Easter...
That's special & warms my heart during such a hard time... so many firsts that should have been with Lily but instead.. without Lily.. ❤ Thank you to everyone who is sharing pictures.. it means more than you'll know.. more pictures to share later too..
I hold a special place in my heart for all of our models but this sweet baby is my best friends niece... isn't she beautiful!!
She is modeling an Easter hairbow that her Mommy specially picked out & bought from the Easter hairbows that I posted on Lily's page.. Thank you Erin, Joel, and Fenley! ❤
Beautiful hairbow model alert.. Amaira
You've seen this sweet face before.. Her Aunt Kylie McGee loves to buy Lily Grace Project hairbows in memory of our angel Lily...
Amaira makes a beautiful hairbow model.. Thanks for sharing Kylie! ❤
You've seen this sweet face before.. Her Aunt Kylie McGee loves to buy Lily Grace Project hairbows in memory of our angel Lily...
Amaira makes a beautiful hairbow model.. Thanks for sharing Kylie! ❤
Ribbon.. and more ribbon.. thank you
Thank you Jessica Peters! She saw ladybug ribbon & thought of my Lily Grace... thank you! It's beautiful and we didn't have the yellow ladybug ribbon.. all of the ribbon is beautiful! ❤
I know that your angel said "Look at what my Mommy did for your Mommy" and then they gave each other a big hug!❤
I know that your angel said "Look at what my Mommy did for your Mommy" and then they gave each other a big hug!❤
Thank you Jen DeBouver for donating this robbon in memory of your angel Asher! To learn more about her angel, please
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