Friday, March 1, 2013

Losing my baby.. remembering her last 24 hours..

Written last night on Lily's Facebook page "Never Forget Lily Grace":  

Losing my baby.. 
Six months ago today the Doctors stood around me to say that they were sorry but our Lily Grace.. she wasn't going to survive without machines.. she wasn't going to make it.. 

There were probably 4-5 doctors/ surgeons standing there as I was sitting... They asked if I wanted to turn her machines off that day or what I wanted to do... (Please know that her doctors were so caring & kind.. I'm forever grateful to all of the staff at Kosair) ❤

I just kept saying.. " no.. I can't.. I can''m not ready.. "

So they gave us options and one would give her 2 more days & then they would see how her body would respond at that time.. "Yes.. yes.. That's what we want to do..".

They said that it wouldn't make the outcome different but she wasn't in pain & if we agreed that on that Thursday (2 days later).. if they tried to turn machines off & she still couldn't survive.. would we agree that we would turn her machines off & let her pass away after we spend time with her that day.. "Yes.. Yes I said"..

I immediately went to her side and prayed.. and begged.. and prayed.. And pleaded "Lily.. Please prove everyone wrong okay.. You can make it sweet baby.."

Less than 24 hours later sweet Lily started to have bleeding in her stomach & around 4 am that next morning we had the talk with the doctor.. she wasn't in pain because of the medicine but ... sweet Lily wasn't going to make it.. her Dad & I agreed that we wouldn't make Lily wait another day.. as much as we wanted her here.. we couldn't do it.

One phone call was made to family & they started making calls for us.. everyone joined together at Kosair to say our goodbyes to her... 6 months ago tomorrow...

We sang to her, loved on her, kissed her, told her goodbye & to be strong... we would never forget her... God blessed us by making her alert all day.. she held our hands and looked into her eyes..

Around 3:15 pm I told her nurse that I wanted to hold her & that meant... we were ready to turn the machines off...within 15 minutes of Lily being placed in my arms after her machines were turned off she became an angel that day surrounded by 30 family members and friends.. plus the medical staff... and they were sad too... it seemed like the staff loved our Lily too..

At 3:30 pm on August 29, 2012 our Lily Grace became an angel in my arms.. 6 months ago tomorrow.. ❤❤

Please pray for me... my kids.. my family.. and anyone else who loved & lost Lily

Please ❤

©2012 nzaPhotography, LLC | Nicole Zirnheld Aldridge |

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