Thought for the day: Losing your infant and breast feeding?!?! I was going to breast feed Lily so I was exclusively pumping until she was better because she was going to get better.
I pumped 50+ more bottles of milk and I bought a very
I pumped 50+ more bottles of milk and I bought a very
nice pump (because if you are exclusively pumping and your child is in the hospital.. I was told you need a nice pump to keep your milk going..). I was excited to one day feed Lily.. but she never got one drop of my milk.. not one.
Have you ever thought about what a parent does or goes through when they are breast feeding/ pumping and they lose their child? I never thought about it until I went through it. The day I learned that Lily would not be making it.. was beyond the hardest days of my life.
Something I never thought about was how I would have to deal with breast feeding if she passed away.... I had pumped for her every day.. then we had to make the decision to take her off life support.. she was looking at me.. what if she makes it ... should I keep pumping until the minute she passes away because what if she doesn't pass away.. but then if I pump.. I will miss precious minutes with her on her last day.. WHAT DO YOU DO??? If you don't pump then you feel like you are giving up on your child.. like giving up all hope..
This is the last thing you need to deal with.. If you don't pump so you can spend every minute with your child then it becomes very painful because you start the process of "drying up"... ouch.. oh and you start to leak because they feel like they will explode.. but my baby was dying :(
What do you do with all the milk that you have pumped.. I want my baby to have it.. oh no.. my baby will never have it.. what do I do with it.. throw it away??.. no.. I made every ounce with love.. it was for my baby..
This can be very confusing.. so I just stopped pumping on August 29th.. never pumped again, never made one more bottle for her, realized that I had all that milk and my sweet daughter would never get one ounce. Lily did pass away so what do I do now..
I went home and used cabbage leaves plus took medicine for the pain while I cried ALL night long and while I was holding Lily's things. The hospital gave me the option of donating all the bottles to help another baby but that process required getting a prescription from the doctor, blood work, filling out tons of paperwork, etc.. that is the last think I felt like doing because I needed to plan my babies funeral, find a burial spot, and just get through the day.
I later found out abouthttp://www.facebook.com/EatsOnFeetsHome
It was too late for me though because sadly all my bottles from the hospital couldn't be found.. I do have about 8 bottles in my freezer still with Lily's labels from the hospital on them but I can't part with them.. too painful. "Eats on Feets" is great and much easier to donate than other ways.. it helps other people too and I wish I could have helped... just one more thing to think about when losing your sweet baby...
Have you ever thought about what a parent does or goes through when they are breast feeding/ pumping and they lose their child? I never thought about it until I went through it. The day I learned that Lily would not be making it.. was beyond the hardest days of my life.
Something I never thought about was how I would have to deal with breast feeding if she passed away.... I had pumped for her every day.. then we had to make the decision to take her off life support.. she was looking at me.. what if she makes it ... should I keep pumping until the minute she passes away because what if she doesn't pass away.. but then if I pump.. I will miss precious minutes with her on her last day.. WHAT DO YOU DO??? If you don't pump then you feel like you are giving up on your child.. like giving up all hope..
This is the last thing you need to deal with.. If you don't pump so you can spend every minute with your child then it becomes very painful because you start the process of "drying up"... ouch.. oh and you start to leak because they feel like they will explode.. but my baby was dying :(
What do you do with all the milk that you have pumped.. I want my baby to have it.. oh no.. my baby will never have it.. what do I do with it.. throw it away??.. no.. I made every ounce with love.. it was for my baby..
This can be very confusing.. so I just stopped pumping on August 29th.. never pumped again, never made one more bottle for her, realized that I had all that milk and my sweet daughter would never get one ounce. Lily did pass away so what do I do now..
I went home and used cabbage leaves plus took medicine for the pain while I cried ALL night long and while I was holding Lily's things. The hospital gave me the option of donating all the bottles to help another baby but that process required getting a prescription from the doctor, blood work, filling out tons of paperwork, etc.. that is the last think I felt like doing because I needed to plan my babies funeral, find a burial spot, and just get through the day.
I later found out abouthttp://www.facebook.com/EatsOnFeetsHome
It was too late for me though because sadly all my bottles from the hospital couldn't be found.. I do have about 8 bottles in my freezer still with Lily's labels from the hospital on them but I can't part with them.. too painful. "Eats on Feets" is great and much easier to donate than other ways.. it helps other people too and I wish I could have helped... just one more thing to think about when losing your sweet baby...
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