Somewhere over the rainbow...
Angels fly....
In a land that I've heard of..
Why did you leave us..why
Somewhere over the rainbow..
Beautiful angels play..
They keep each other happy..
Every night and day..
"Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
High above the chimney tops,
That's where you'll find me."
Somewhere over the rainbow..
Guardian angels fly...
Our angels fly over the rainbow..
So why then..oh why..can't I??
---------------------------
I would never want to leave my children here on earth for sure but sometimes I wish that I could visit my angel Lily Grace. Just fly up over the beautiful clouds.. over the rainbow.. if even for a minute..
"Beam me Up".. right Pink.. great song and I hope you listen to it if you have a minute... you may be able to relate to it too ♥
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFYm9LKsuUo
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Happy 10 month birthday in heaven angel..
Happy 10 month birthday in heaven sweet baby girl...
Lillian Grace.. you are loved more than you will ever know by me, your family, and even people that you never met..
I hope that you and the other angel children in heaven have a big celebration and have chocolate cake too
Why chocolate cake? Lily was never able to eat anything (no breast milk just things through her IV) while she was living & shortly after she passed her big sister Makayla (6 at the time) asked me: Mommy does Lily get to eat in heaven? Does she live on the clouds? Do you think she gets to eat chocolate cake Mommy?
Yes... Lily gets to eat in heaven.. yes she lives high above the clouds (so we look at clouds a lot now), and yes... she gets to eat chocolate cake too
Lillian Grace.. you are loved more than you will ever know by me, your family, and even people that you never met..
I hope that you and the other angel children in heaven have a big celebration and have chocolate cake too
Why chocolate cake? Lily was never able to eat anything (no breast milk just things through her IV) while she was living & shortly after she passed her big sister Makayla (6 at the time) asked me: Mommy does Lily get to eat in heaven? Does she live on the clouds? Do you think she gets to eat chocolate cake Mommy?
Yes... Lily gets to eat in heaven.. yes she lives high above the clouds (so we look at clouds a lot now), and yes... she gets to eat chocolate cake too
Yesterday...
Feels like yesterday...
I should be holding a "Happy 10 month Birthday 6-11-13" today by my baby Lily...
Lily..at first you were gone
Minute by minute...
Hour by hour...
Day by day...
and sadly now month by month is going by..
You would (should) be turning One in just two months.. I can't believe that you were born almost one year ago.. it still feels like yesterday...
I remember EVERYTHING...
Every minute..
Every hour...
Every day that you were here with me...
Before you were born...
After you were born..
As you passed in my arms..
and since you left me to go to heaven...
I ALWAYS think of you and will ALWAYS remember you...
ALWAYS
I should be holding a "Happy 10 month Birthday 6-11-13" today by my baby Lily...
Lily..at first you were gone
Minute by minute...
Hour by hour...
Day by day...
and sadly now month by month is going by..
You would (should) be turning One in just two months.. I can't believe that you were born almost one year ago.. it still feels like yesterday...
I remember EVERYTHING...
Every minute..
Every hour...
Every day that you were here with me...
Before you were born...
After you were born..
As you passed in my arms..
and since you left me to go to heaven...
I ALWAYS think of you and will ALWAYS remember you...
ALWAYS
Bittersweet.. Lily was here on the first day of school and it is now the last day of school..
Wednesday June 5th post on Lily's Facebook page (Never Forget Lily Grace):
Today is the last day of school so summer begins...
I now have bigger kids
Sarah is officially a senior..
Ethan graduated from elementary school today so he is now officially in middle school (6th grade)..
Blake is a 3rd grader..
Makayla is a 2nd grader..
Today is bittersweet.. Our Lily Grace was due on 8/21/12 which was the first day of this school year so the last day of school.. That's tough.
Lily was born 10 days before their school started and passed away about 8 days after their school began.. My kids had a tough beginning to their school year.. their sister became an angel when school started..
They did it! They did great too! We are very proud of them.. all 5 of them!!
Today is the last day of school so summer begins...
I now have bigger kids
Sarah is officially a senior..
Ethan graduated from elementary school today so he is now officially in middle school (6th grade)..
Blake is a 3rd grader..
Makayla is a 2nd grader..
Today is bittersweet.. Our Lily Grace was due on 8/21/12 which was the first day of this school year so the last day of school.. That's tough.
Lily was born 10 days before their school started and passed away about 8 days after their school began.. My kids had a tough beginning to their school year.. their sister became an angel when school started..
They did it! They did great too! We are very proud of them.. all 5 of them!!
"Amy's Precious Baby"
Ironically.. my post on Lily's Facebook page for June 3rd was about this blog.. still thought I would share :)
------------------------------------------------
When I found out about Lily's diagnosis, I decided to start a blog. I just read through a few of my posts from before I had Lily... feels weird to read considering the path that my journey ended up taking. I thought I would share one.. here is my link in case you are bored and you want to read any of it..
http://believinginhopeandlove.blogspot.com/
**A lot of my posts prior to October 2012 were not on Facebook... She was born in August 2012 if you want to read any of those posts before, during, or after her life... I just wanted to share.. I now have 321 posts.. here you go:
Written May 31, 2012:
When I First Found Out- about 9 weeks ago.....
When I first found out that our baby would be sick (heart only, no chromosome concerns at that time), I found comfort in writing. I just came across some of the things that I wrote so I wanted to share. I had just had my anatomy scan so naturally people wanted to know if I was having a boy or a girl but this conversation was just too new and fresh for me so I had to find a way to talk about my baby without crying. So I wrote some poems:
This was my way of letting people know that she was sick. I actually typed this up and handed it out to some people (this was a VERY sad time for me and I needed to function at work without crying so this poem made it easier for me somehow)........
Amy's Precious Baby
Please say a little prayer
As my baby girl may be ill
They worry that her heart is "broken"
Which makes my heart be still
It is hard for me to talk about
So it is easy for me to write it out
I will tell you more as I know
But for now please pray, pray, pray
Now this second one is not completely finished as it was just something I was working on to help express that I needed people to treat me as normal as can be...........
Broken Heart
I need you to treat me normal
as normal as can be
The days ahead will get harder
so for now treat me as me
I'm saddened that my baby girl
is sick with a broken heart
I have good days, I have bad days
it has been that way since the start
Everyone has a right to be sad
because we know not what the future holds
For now lets find a way to cope
because with her diagnosis, there is still hope
You can be sad, you can cry
you can have your moments or days too
But I need everyone to be strong around me
so I can get through this too
So let's talk about the weather
and trivial things in our day
Because living as normal as possible
is what I need for today
------------------------------------------------------------------
I never said they would be good. I just found peace when writing out my emotions because it truly was easier for me to write about her being sick (emails, texts, poems, etc) rather than verbally talk and look at people. The emotion to cry was just so strong and I am doing better but as many of you know, I still have my moments. Thanks for reading!
------------------------------------------------
When I found out about Lily's diagnosis, I decided to start a blog. I just read through a few of my posts from before I had Lily... feels weird to read considering the path that my journey ended up taking. I thought I would share one.. here is my link in case you are bored and you want to read any of it..
http://believinginhopeandlove.blogspot.com/
**A lot of my posts prior to October 2012 were not on Facebook... She was born in August 2012 if you want to read any of those posts before, during, or after her life... I just wanted to share.. I now have 321 posts.. here you go:
Written May 31, 2012:
When I First Found Out- about 9 weeks ago.....
When I first found out that our baby would be sick (heart only, no chromosome concerns at that time), I found comfort in writing. I just came across some of the things that I wrote so I wanted to share. I had just had my anatomy scan so naturally people wanted to know if I was having a boy or a girl but this conversation was just too new and fresh for me so I had to find a way to talk about my baby without crying. So I wrote some poems:
This was my way of letting people know that she was sick. I actually typed this up and handed it out to some people (this was a VERY sad time for me and I needed to function at work without crying so this poem made it easier for me somehow)........
Amy's Precious Baby
Please say a little prayer
As my baby girl may be ill
They worry that her heart is "broken"
Which makes my heart be still
It is hard for me to talk about
So it is easy for me to write it out
I will tell you more as I know
But for now please pray, pray, pray
Now this second one is not completely finished as it was just something I was working on to help express that I needed people to treat me as normal as can be...........
Broken Heart
I need you to treat me normal
as normal as can be
The days ahead will get harder
so for now treat me as me
I'm saddened that my baby girl
is sick with a broken heart
I have good days, I have bad days
it has been that way since the start
Everyone has a right to be sad
because we know not what the future holds
For now lets find a way to cope
because with her diagnosis, there is still hope
You can be sad, you can cry
you can have your moments or days too
But I need everyone to be strong around me
so I can get through this too
So let's talk about the weather
and trivial things in our day
Because living as normal as possible
is what I need for today
------------------------------------------------------------------
I never said they would be good. I just found peace when writing out my emotions because it truly was easier for me to write about her being sick (emails, texts, poems, etc) rather than verbally talk and look at people. The emotion to cry was just so strong and I am doing better but as many of you know, I still have my moments. Thanks for reading!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Incredibly sad... my baby should be here...
Posted just last night on Lily's Facebook page :(
I just pulled up to our new house and the thought came across my mind that I should be either coming home to all of my kids including my young baby or I should be getting a carrier out of my car...
It makes me incredibly sad when I think those things but I can't help it...
"You Are Not Alone" by Michael Jackson was playing in my car which was one of the songs I sang to Lily on the day she was going to leave me to go to heaven....
Lily should be here.. with me.. in my arms to hold and love.. It's not fair
**This is not a good time to tell me all the good things about her not being here.. like how she's in a better place, she's with God, no more suffering.. etc.. It's really not**
----------------------------------------------
Then I just posted this tonight on Lily's Facebook page:
Thank you all for your support last night.. I was having a hard time and I like writing in those moments because it helps me to release the extreme grief that I'm feeling at that moment..
I don't always write in those moments but I do a lot... I'm doing better today.. thank you
**Thank you Kristine McCormick for this picture... Kristine is also a Mommy to a heart angel- baby Cora. I thought this picture was perfect
I just pulled up to our new house and the thought came across my mind that I should be either coming home to all of my kids including my young baby or I should be getting a carrier out of my car...
It makes me incredibly sad when I think those things but I can't help it...
"You Are Not Alone" by Michael Jackson was playing in my car which was one of the songs I sang to Lily on the day she was going to leave me to go to heaven....
Lily should be here.. with me.. in my arms to hold and love.. It's not fair
**This is not a good time to tell me all the good things about her not being here.. like how she's in a better place, she's with God, no more suffering.. etc.. It's really not**
----------------------------------------------
Then I just posted this tonight on Lily's Facebook page:
Thank you all for your support last night.. I was having a hard time and I like writing in those moments because it helps me to release the extreme grief that I'm feeling at that moment..
I don't always write in those moments but I do a lot... I'm doing better today.. thank you
**Thank you Kristine McCormick for this picture... Kristine is also a Mommy to a heart angel- baby Cora. I thought this picture was perfect
Introducing "Bowa" :)
Introducing our ladybug "Bowa"
Lily's big sister Makayla was so excited to find this massive ladybug stuffed animal at the store... Ladybugs are one of the signs from our angel daughter Lily (also known as Lilybug)
Makayla said "I have the perfect name.... Bowa.. after hairbows"... Did you notice that she's wearing a hairbow too
For those that don't know.. my family and I started The Lily Grace Project: Hairbows for Healing where we make hairbows in memory of our daughter and give them to sick children in the hospital because we want to make them feel special and a little happier while they are in the hospital... my daughter always wore hairbows so they have significance to us
Great name Makayla!! She likes to love on Bowa a lot... so sweet!!
--------------------------------------
Another post from yesterday (on Lily's Facebook page: Never Forget Lily Grace)
Lily's big sister Makayla was so excited to find this massive ladybug stuffed animal at the store... Ladybugs are one of the signs from our angel daughter Lily (also known as Lilybug)
Makayla said "I have the perfect name.... Bowa.. after hairbows"... Did you notice that she's wearing a hairbow too
For those that don't know.. my family and I started The Lily Grace Project: Hairbows for Healing where we make hairbows in memory of our daughter and give them to sick children in the hospital because we want to make them feel special and a little happier while they are in the hospital... my daughter always wore hairbows so they have significance to us
Great name Makayla!! She likes to love on Bowa a lot... so sweet!!
--------------------------------------
Another post from yesterday (on Lily's Facebook page: Never Forget Lily Grace)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)